Cleaning - Mole People

Okay, so, I know this seems pretty bad. I know this seems like I'm stalling for time to delay actually doing any work on the stuff I should be working on, like my morality project or lab report on that shit I blew up a few weeks ago. (Yeah, it was an epic explosion and completely worth the detention)

All lies.

Heed my words, good citizens of the internet! For I bring truth, and poisoned kool-aid! But mostly truth!

The mole people live among us. Oh yes, I'm sure you've seen them. You've seen them but you just don't realize it yet. They could be anywhere, they could be anyone. That helpful policeman that lets you cross the street, the squirrel in your front yard, the little old dodgey lady who won't stop screaming about her precious 'Muffle Snuffle' (Poor creature who suffers that name) ? Yeah. They're all mole people. I could be a mole person, and you just wouldn't know it, would you?

This is a crisis people! Screw the economy and the war in the middle east, this is much more important! They are taking over our planet slowly but surely in the form of fast food chains that enslave us with fast and efficiant but fatty foods so that when the revolution comes, all they have to do is roll us down hill into their awful little machiney things. Not quite sure what they do, to be honest, but I'm certain it's diabolical! I have chills thinking of such things.

Anyways, I've compiled a short list of how you can tell a mole person from a real person. Learn it, memorize it. It could save your life.
1. Ask them about the black box. Any answer that does not result in ' It is the begining and the end of all creation' is a definate sign of a mole person. Kill them on the spot.
2. Ask them if they would like some kool aid. When they agree, as no one can resist kool aid, politely point out that there is a flying monkey behind them. While they look for the mokey that was actually a devious lie, poison the kool aid. If they don't drink the now poisoned kool aid, they're a mole person since they've obviously sniffed out the delicate balance of chemicals. If they do drink it well.... They were a normal person... Run before authorities (obvious mole people) catch up to you.
3. I really like this number. No idea why.
4. Set a nasty trap with a donught as bait. Wait a couple of hours, and then fall for your own trap when you realize donughts can not be resisted. Surprise! You're a mole person!

So yes. This is my devious plan. Together, we can pull though and eliminate this threat, but only for team work!

So who's with me!?